Tea is for Trouble
by Loopy777
Summary: Iroh is babysitting his grand-niece for the first time, and naturally enough, tea becomes involved. Unnaturally, a dangerous rebel is looking to take advantage of the situation, and it's up to Iroh to protect the baby. Written for akszirules.


**Tea is for Trouble**

"You have entrusted me with your life, Nephew. You have, on several occasions, entrusted me with your country and crown. You have even entrusted me with money, once. And it is only now that I truly see you doubting me."

Even with the warm spring breeze wafting across the Jasmine Dragon's back porch, Zuko gave a shiver. "It's not that I don't trust you, Uncle. I... just... she's six months old, and all the other times Mai and I had to leave her behind, she was safe in the Fire Palace, with an army to protect her."

"Yes," Iroh chuckled, "the thirty-five soldiers you have surrounding my tea shop is merely a platoon. I can see why you would be worried."

Zuko, of course, didn't laugh; he never laughed, not since he was thirteen. But now, at least, he smiled at Iroh's joking. "Okay, maybe I'm being overprotective. A platoon under the command of the Dragon of the West is probably more effective than most armies, anyway."

Iroh smiled back, and was going to give his nephew further reassurances, but at that moment the other two members of their little family emerged onto the porch. Iroh turned and gave his biggest grin to his niece-by-marriage and the baby in her arms. "Ah! The only thing that could have possibly improved this lovely day is the presence of two lovely ladies such as yourselves, and here you are!"

Mai ignored his compliment, as she always did, and shifted to look straight into the eyes of the baby in her arms. "Look who it is, honey. Who is that? Who is that?" Her smoky voice was even lighter than usual, speaking in a soothing tone that her own parents probably wouldn't have recognized.

The baby in turn, just looked back at her mother dumbly.

Mai moved her face even closer to the baby's, and said, "That's Uncle Iroh. _Uncle. Iroh._"

The baby's face suddenly lit up with a smile, and she screeched, "Uncaroh!" She clapped her hands, and kept up a steady chanting of "Uncaroh! Uncaroh! Uncaroh!"

Iroh, of course, couldn't help but give a hearty laugh. "Yes, Uncle Iroh is here!" He moved forward and held out his hands, and Mai agreeably handed over her (still chanting) daughter. "Is she truly talking already? She's so young for it."

Mai shrugged. "Kind of, sort of. It took several hours of repetition, but I finally got her to repeat that much. She has no idea what it means, of course. She just likes being able to repeat something an adult can say. The only people she can actually associate with words are me and her da-da."

Upon hearing that sound, Iroh's grand-niece turned her gaze solidly to Zuko and changed her chanting to "Adadadadadada..."

"Oh, she is going to be a smart one. Just like her mother." Iroh winked, but Mai just rolled her eyes. Sometimes, Iroh thought she might be the only woman in the entire world he couldn't fluster with his antics. "I'm surprised to hear that you took _hours_ to prepare such a gift for me."

"Are you calling me impatient?" Mai's eyebrows quirked as sharply as one of her knives.

Zuko stepped forward to tickle his daughter's chin, sparing his wife a glance and smirk. "Uncle means you get bored easily."

"Ah. Well, yes, he's right about that." Mai shifted so that she was no longer directly facing him, but Iroh watched carefully, and was able to observe a small smile grow on Mai's face before it was hidden behind her hair. "I find that, despite her limited vocabulary, my daughter is endlessly amusing. But considering I spent thirty-seven hours in labor with her, that's only fair." Then she added, a bit quieter, "And my parents never let me hold my brother when he was little. It's still new to me."

Fortunately, Iroh knew how to lift a mood. "Can I interest you two in some tea before the Earth King's party? I have a new blend we could try!"

For reasons Iroh would never understand, his nephew and niece-by-marriage exchanged glances and stiffened. It was almost like they didn't care about tea. "We should really get going," Zuko said. "If you have any trouble with the baby, send word to me _immediately_, and I'll come running if I have to. This is just a social gathering with all the Earth Underkings and Republic Governors that's supposed to get us off on the right foot for the important meetings we'll be having all this week. Nothing I can't skip."

Iroh stared at his nephew. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Mai doing the same. Even the baby in Iroh's arms had gone quiet.

Zuko hung his head and sighed. "Fine. Let's get going, then." Mai took his arm, patted his shoulder, and led him off to the Jasmine Dragon's back exit- and the evidentially dreaded social event beyond.

Iroh waved as cheerfully as he could for his nephew, and looked down at the baby in his arms. "Wave bye-bye to Mommy and Daddy."

His great-niece's eyes suddenly went wide. "Amamamamadadadadada?" Her eyes shifted all about, and- realizing that her parents were lost to sight- she began wailing like a tortured Spirit from the depths of the Pit of Echoing Lies.

"Oh, dear," Iroh said.

* * *

It was said that children were the future, and Bangfei had taken that concept to heart.

The crimson armor of the Royal Fire Guards was brightly visible as Bangfei approached the Jasmine Dragon. He didn't hurry as he walked, nor was there a point to attempting to conceal his destination. The hideously shaped and ordered Upper Ring was hard to get lost in, with all its sculpted foliage and open aqueducts carefully placed to avoid interfering with travel, for it was travel that facilitated the evil of commerce. Even something as seemingly innocuous as a gourmet tea shop was a prop to that evil. When Bangfei was just a block away from the Jasmine Dragon, he saw the helmeted heads of the guards swivel to watch him, while the soldiers at the edge of the formation began making hand signals at each other. Bangfei smiled and waved a greeting.

The lead soldier held up a hand and called out, "Halt! This establishment is closed for business today. Do not approach."

Bangfei kept walking, the breeze teasing his long hair and robes.

The soldier snapped into a stance and punched out a plume of flame. It streaked across the street to tickle Bangfei with heat, but did not actually touch him. It was a very professional warning, and anyone else probably would have been impressed, but Bangfei was long past holding any reverence for the toy soldiers who propped up the confining yoke of government.

He kept smiling, and waved again. "Hey, what gives?"

"This establishment is closed. It's time for you to move along."

Bangfei's smile grew wider. "I agree."

He doubted that the simpleminded guards saw what happened next. One moment, they would have been watching him, trying to keep track of his hands in case he went for a weapon hidden in his robes. They would have also been looking at his feet, to see if he took a known Bending stance. Earthbending would have been the obvious choice, but Firebenders were known to have problems with Fire Lord Zuko, too. Either way, the guards were so focused on trying to anticipate his attack that when Bangfei finally went into motion, he knew they saw nothing more than the swish of his robes that concealed his movement, the fabrics twirling in the breeze like a little tornado. Only after the robes fell limply to the ground would the guards realize that Bangfei was no longer there.

The soldiers didn't see his leap into the air, a leap higher than anyone but the Airbenders of old- and Bangfei's fellow students- would have thought possible. Bangfei dropped right into the midst and was turning to strike as soon as his feet were on the ground. He punched the lead guard right in the middle of the armored chestplate, and even if the others had shifted their attention in time to see, it was doubtful that they would have understood the result.

The struck guard cried out and clutched at his armor right above his heart, and Bangfei calmly turned and faced the next guard in line.

What followed was a flurry of Fire and fighting, but it didn't matter. Against someone who could move like Bangfei, the guards' attacks were just as ineffective as their armor. The guards tried to surround him, to box him in with bodies and flames, but Bangfei's leaps, somersaults, and flips let him pass through their formations like a ghost, striking out and claiming their health. In a matter of minutes, every last soldier was lying convulsing on the ground. Their armor protected them from Bangfei's fatal capabilities, but the pain coursing through their veins and Qi-lines would keep them occupied long enough.

With the Jasmine Dragon stripped of all its defenses, Bangfei strolled right up the front stairs and went in through the debased carved wooden doors. It was time to create a future without children for Fire Lord Zuko.

* * *

Iroh was impressed. The longest he had ever been able to sustain the Torchbreath attack that had earned him the legendary title of 'The Dragon of the West' was a minute and a half, and that was after a preparatory breathing exercise. His grand-niece, on the other hand, had been wailing nonstop at the top of her little lungs for over fifteen minutes now. Iroh was not so unfamiliar with babies that he found this unusual, but knowing all too well how long his nephew was capable of sustaining a bad mood, he nevertheless foresaw great suffering in his future if nothing was done.

Iroh tried singing to the baby, but she didn't even seem to hear him. He tried tickling her, but that too was a failure. He tried turning her upside down and then carrying her spinning through the Jasmine Dragon's kitchen, and while that was no more successful, Iroh at least was pleased that it didn't make the baby upchuck all over his robes.

He carried the baby upstairs to his suite above the main teashop and pushed back on his growing despair. His visits to the Fire Nation were infrequent, and his grand-niece was not even a year old yet, so no doubt she was simply anxious at being alone with a stranger. She would likely cry until her parents returned from the party at the Earth King's palace. Well, that wouldn't do. And Iroh suddenly knew how to resolve the issue. "So, little one. How would you like a nice cup of calming tea?"

The baby looked straight at him and doubled the volume of her crying.

"Come now," Iroh said over the din. "Surely, a little tea would improve your mood. Would you like a Jasmine, or a nice Ginseng? Or perhaps you are like your unfortunate Aunt, and would prefer a Silver Needle white tea?" As the baby continued screeching, adding a growling undertone to her performance, Iroh was struck by a sobering thought. "Unless your parents have not yet introduced you to the joys of tea? _How_ could they neglect such a thing? There's no such thing as 'too young' for tea! I started Lu Ten on it as soon as he would take a bottle. And if today is your first tea... well, then nothing but the best will do! I will perform the ancient Royal Fire Tea Ceremony for you!"

The volume of Iroh's voice startled the baby into silence, but as soon as she looked up at his face, she began whimpering again.

* * *

The Jasmine Dragon was everything that was wrong with the world.

Bangfei walked through the empty shop, gazing around at the celebration of artifice. True, it was more open and plain than most places in Ba Sing Se's Upper Ring, but it still acknowledged the wealth and decorative taste of the people to whom it catered. Bangfei's experienced eye also detected little touches of Fire Nation decorating style: the kitchen with an open counter to the dining room, windows placed so that sunlight would always be able to shine into the main dining room, and of course stylized dragons incorporated into every ornament and painted border, drawn perfectly in accordance with the ancient texts of the Fire Sages. Everything was, of course, perfect. Even the smallest brushstrokes on the smallest dragons were perfectly in line.

It was all so typical of the way the world had be ruined with 'progress' and 'civilization' and 'social constructs.' As Bangfei's teacher had always said, the true world existed beyond these material trappings, and the logical conclusion was that the true world was being chained and strangled. So few truly understood that, and even his teacher's other prized student only grasped the edges of the concept before she chose a pacifistic life and ran away to join the circus, of all things. Circuses locked up animals that should be allowed to run free, and exploited the artistic talents of the truly unique, but it was still probably better than serving the Fire Lord, which was the young lady's other career option at the time. In a world of hard choices, not everyone had the strength to reach out and smash the system. Maybe someday she would finally break her chains and see the world as Bangfei did, see the possibilities in their shared fighting style.

'Dim Mak' was the old language for 'Touch of Death,' after all.

Bangfei stalked deeper into the Jasmine Dragon, following the sounds of the crying.

* * *

It didn't take long for Iroh to assemble the materials necessary for the tea ceremony. He kept a full service set on each floor of the Jasmine Dragon, and a backup under his bed, in case of tea ceremony emergencies. Even back when Iroh was accompanying Zuko on his princely exile, he had maintained both a primary service set and a backup, knowing that time could stretch between ports. Only during the darkest days of Iroh's life had he been without the pots and strainers necessary to perform a proper tea ceremony.

For his grand-niece's first tea party, Iroh had decided to pull out all the stops.

He put on his finest robes, and spread out his grandest service set over the low table in his parlor. Before putting out the first pot, Iroh made sure to put it in his whimpering grand-niece's hands, so that she could feel the world's finest imperial porcelain. She was still upset and gave regularly whimpering squeals, but she also seemed curious about Iroh's business, and kept an eye on the proceedings, even though she eyed the pot in her hands with real wariness. When everything was laid out in its popular place on the table, Iroh sat down with the baby in his lap, clapped his hands once softly, and then summoned Fire in his hands.

His grand-niece quieted and gazed at the strong flames dancing above her.

Reverently, Iroh picked up the first teapot- the one with a Dragon painted on it- with his blazing hands. The flames were not very hot, and shifted slightly in color as they burned off the dust and other impurities from the outside. Iroh lifted the pot's lid with one hand and used the other to shoot a short burst of flame inside, to likewise cleanse it, and then put the warmed and cleaned pot down on its tray. Iroh proceeded to do the same with the second teapot- decorated with dancing Sun Warriors- and all the cups. He then moved on to the trays, the spoon for the tea powder, and then finally the metal wire whisk. Most people used disposable bamboo whisks, of course, but at this point in his life Iroh could indulge the reusable, burn-proof instrument. Throughout the process, the baby watched, enraptured by the Fire. Iroh wouldn't have guessed quieting her to be that easy, but he suspected that even the beauty of flames wouldn't keep her attention for too long.

Finally, everything was clean. It was time for the water. Ba Sing Se had very good water, thanks to its many underground springs and extensive aqueducts. Iroh had filled a good pitcher in preparation for the ceremony, and now poured into the Dragon teapot, filling it up. Placing the pitcher down, Iroh took up the teapot in both hands and breathed slowly.

His hands warmed quickly but without flame.

It didn't take long for the water to boil, and the teapot radiated a very pleasant heat from the process. The baby in his lap made what sounded like an appreciative sound at the warmth, and Iroh couldn't help but smile as she squirmed to get closer to the source even as he held her in place on his lap.

Iroh placed the boiling teapot down on its tray and took off the lid, then retrieved his little jar of blended tea powder. Before he spooned some of the greenish dust into the teapot, Iroh took a heavy whiff of the powder, chuckling at the tasteful promises the scent made. He brought the jar down so that the baby in his lap could also take a sniff, but as soon as she smelled it, his grand-niece wrinkled her nose and made a buzzing sound.

Ah well, babies couldn't be expected to simply accept all the finer things in life.

Iroh put his powder jar down on the table and spooned a precise measurement of the mix into the pot. He cleaned the spoon off with a traditional red cloth, and then placed both aside and took up the metal whisk. He stirred the pot, moving in very precise motions meant to evoke the way a dragon was said to wrap protectively around an egg or whatever else it wanted to guard. In Iroh's lap, the baby started to squirm impatiently. He didn't want to disrupt the stirring, so he did the only thing he could and lowered his head so that his beard was tickling the top of her bald head. The baby giggled and tried to burrow into his stomach, but that at least kept her in one place.

Finally, Iroh finished his stirring, withdrew the whisk, and wiped it with another red cloth before putting it aside. The lid went back on the Dragon teapot, and then the lid of the Sun Warrior pot was replaced with a strainer. Iroh poured from the Dragon teapot onto the strainer, so that any excess powder would be removed and the Sun Warriors would receive only the smoothest tea. Once the transfer was complete, Iroh filled the Dragon pot with fresh water, and set it aside.

It was time to pour the cups.

Depending on who was performing the ceremony and the ranks of the people present, this next part could be quite complex. Technically, Iroh's grand-niece was the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation, outranking all but the Fire Lord himself. However, Iroh was both her Elder and once in line for the crown himself. Ideally, they would have already settled the matter of who would drink from the first cup of tea by way of Agni Kai, but since Iroh was the one performing the tea ceremony, he was by default supposed to have his cup filled last. However, that would then leave the first cup to be sipped by the guest of honor, which was completely out of the question, so Iroh had to commit a small breach of etiquette and serve himself first. He made sure to drink the tea quickly, not taking the time to appreciate the taste, lest he compound the issue. Once emptied, he filled the cup with clean water and put it aside, and then sang a short song about how tea flows from pots like light flows down from the sun. It seemed to intrigue the baby, now that she was quiet enough to hear his warbling. The verse lasted only a minute, and since Iroh didn't drop dead of poison before finishing, his role as Protector of the Table came to a close. He was free to pour a cup for his grand-niece.

After each pouring, he wiped the spout with yet another red cloth.

At last, two steaming cups of tea were ready for consumption. That didn't use up all the tea in the pot, of course, so Iroh placed it back down and then removed the lid to let the steam and scent waft freely over the table. He took a deep breath, and couldn't deny that the smell of freshly brewed tea was more invigorating than that of any garden or kitchen. Thus soothed and infused with the essence of tea, Iroh lifted a cup to the impatient baby in his lap.

His grand-niece grabbed for the cup, but Iroh held it firmly with his full strength, stabilizing it against the baby's flailing without actually pulling it from her grasp. He slowly moved it closer to her, until it was just short of her face. The baby wrinkled her nose again, but didn't move away, and brought her questing mouth in towards the tea.

Iroh held his grand-niece carefully with one arm, and the cup with the other hand, balancing both so that she might sip her first taste of tea. He wasn't worried about the baby burning herself, as the Tea Ceremony cooled the liquid pleasantly by the time a cup was served, and as a Master Firebender Iroh could tell by feel that it was the proper temperature.

At the taste of the tea, the baby drew back suddenly, seemingly startled by the taste. She pronounced her opinion with a rambling, "Ababababababa," and then leaned forward for another sip.

* * *

Bangfei walked into the second story's parlor to find an old man- General Iroh, surely- holding a baby while it sipped from a cup. The table in front of them was covered with the instruments of a tea ceremony, and Bangfei couldn't help but sneer in disgust. Such things were perfect symbols of the artifice of society, dressing up something as simple as having a cup of tea with rules and traditions and all kinds of rituals that had no meaning. Truly, only the hopelessly corrupt would engage in such a thing.

Bangfei was just in time to save Fire Lord Zuko's baby from such evils.

He stepped towards the old man and the baby soundlessly, shifting his weight slowly with each step to keep the floorboards from so much as creaking. Even so, Bangfei was still two arm-lengths away when General Iroh spoke.

"Whatever you are doing in my home, I will forgive it if you go now and leave my grand-niece in peace."

Bangfei came to a halt. "I'm afraid we moved past that possibility long ago, but if you just hand over the child, then there's no need for me to do you any harm. Is it true what they say, that you can judge a person's fighting abilities by the way they walk?" Bangfei's smirk grew. "If so, then you should be very scared right now."

General Iroh finally looked up at him. "And why do you wish to take this baby away from her family? Ransom? I can assure you that by the end of things, you will have no profit. Is there some grudge against my nephew? Perhaps we can reach an appeasement."

"No, the baby must come with me. It's part of the plan, you see. Civilization is kept running by the leaders, and the leaders in turn spawn more leaders. The cycle never ends. If I take their children, the future leaders, then I destroy the dynasties, and civilization in turn will collapse. Then we will all be free, free as was always intended."

"And you really think that will work? Kidnapping children one by one until all the governments of the world collapse? That seems rather, inefficient."

Bangfei shrugged. "When you say it that way, it does seem silly. If worse comes to worse, I can always just start the assassinations."

General Iroh was silent for a long moment, and when he finally replied, his body visibly tensed. "I see. I thought I was dealing with someone reasonable. It seems this can only end badly."

"Pretty much, yeah." Then Bangfei dashed forward and punched down with his worst Death Strike.

General Iroh did not get out of the way in time.

* * *

Iroh recognized the would-be kidnapper as a Dim Mak warrior by the way he walked, and it was clear that this one was no Ty Lee; he intended to kill with his attacks. When he struck down at Iroh where he was kneeling, the baby secure in his lap-

-Iroh did not get away in time.

Mostly.

Iroh tightened his grip on his grand-niece and threw his whole body to the side as soon as the kidnapper began to move, and although he wasn't quick enough to avoid getting tagged by the punch, the dodge was enough to make sure the blow didn't land where it was intended. Iroh was hit on his left arm just above the elbow, and immediately felt a heavy pain blossom there, transforming into a solid numbness that spread out make the whole limb heavy. Iroh barely managed to shift his grand-niece's weight to the other arm as he landed out of his dodge.

Sadly, the kidnapper was giving Iroh no time to rest, dashing forward for another attack.

So Iroh played for time.

He looked within to find the warmth of the tea he had recently chugged and used that as a spark to set the whole of his Qi aflame, screaming to be unleashed. Iroh obliged that need by sticking out his tongue and exhaling in a manner like a belch, although the sound was lost in the roaring of the flame that exploded out from his mouth.

The kidnapper let out a screech and half jumped, half was knocked off his feet by the concussive force of the flames. Iroh kept up the fire, stepping forward and trying to extend them far enough to burn his opponent, but he hadn't been able to really prepare for the Torchbreath attack, and all too quickly his lungs failed him. The fire died, and through the wavering, heated air, Iroh could make out the kidnapper finishing a series of backflips that took him to far side of the parlor, seemingly uninjured.

Well, that was disappointing.

Iroh's attention was then drawn by the babbling of his grand-niece as she squirmed out of his one-armed grasp. She nearly toppled right out of his grip, but Iroh quickly shifted his weight to tip her back against his chest. He tried to raise his other arm to secure the baby, but it still numbly resisted.

There was only one thing to do, then.

Iroh leaned over the table and deposited his grand-niece right in the middle of the tea ceremony service. She bounced on her backside and gave a squeak of surprise. Trusting her to the protection of his favorite service set, Iroh then grabbed his antique Dragon Pot- still full of clear cleansing water- with his newly freed right hand and threw it with all his might at the approaching kidnapper.

The evil man raised his forearms to block, but the collision stopped his approach and elicited a cry of pain above the crinkling of porcelain. Iroh used the extra time to properly root himself in a low stance, and then punched out a fireball big enough to end the fight in one strike. The kidnapper spun around the fireball and sprinted forward again, and Iroh realized too late that with his other arm dead, he was vulnerable while winding up for another punch.

The kidnapper did not take advantage in the way Iroh expected. His opponent ran right past him, sparing nothing more than an almost casual punch that landed on Iroh's right arm, and continued around to the other side of the table with the clear intent of scooping up the whimpering baby. Iroh found that while his good arm was pained, it remained a good arm, moveable and more or less functional. He gave a chop that he intended to send a wave of fire at the kidnapper, but no flames answered his call.

Disappointing.

The kidnapper sneered at Iroh, and moved to pick up the baby without any real hurry.

* * *

Bangfei had just gotten his hands on Fire Lord Zuko's spawn when the whole world went red.

He yanked the crimson towel off his head and found General Iroh leaning over the low table, reaching with his working hand for more tea services pieces and grinning cheekily. The old man said, "You may have taken my Firebending, but a true warrior is never without a weapon."

So Bangfei threw the towel back at the bothersome old man and reached again for the Crown Princess, but then a flicker of motion at the edge of his vision made him reflexively skip to the left, and a tea cup went sailing through the air that he had just been occupying.

Forget this. If General Iroh wanted to die, Bangfei would oblige. He stepped up onto the table as the baby crawled away and ducked a flying teapot, but it spilled water as it went overhead, soaking Bangfei's head. The Fire Princess laughed at that, but he was a warrior of death, and wouldn't let that stop him! With his next step, though, Bangfei suddenly found his foot sliding away and up, and as he went into a flying trip he realized he must have stepped on one of the trays that had been sitting on the table. He landed hard on his back and couldn't keep a cry of pain of escaping his lips, but another sensation soon drew his attention.

The Princess had been startled by the action, and began wailing as babies are wont to do. Without even looking, Bangfei grabbed in the direction of the sound, but then something exploded in his face and suddenly most of his senses were overwhelmed by some kind of devastating poison. His eyes burned, his nose was overwhelmed by what seemed like an entire herb garden, and his mouth was full of choking dust that tasted vaguely of-

-of-

-of _tea_.

It was powdered _tea_ mix.

Bangfei let go of the baby and tried to wipe the junk out of his eyes, but before he could manage that, he heard the baby's crying cut off. He squinted through the powder and his own tears, and could barely make out General Iroh once more cradling the Princess in his good arm.

"This tea ceremony has been a disaster," General Iroh boomed. "I hereby _forsake_ it."

Why did that sound familiar?

Then the answer came to Bangfei, from long ago when he had been forced to attend that fancy academy by his parents. When the host disowns his own tea ceremony, he upends the table and breaks his service set.

General Iroh kicked the table out from under Bangfei, upending it and sending Bangfei himself twisting into the air. He landed hard on the floor, and before he could even tell if he was injured, the whole table landed on top of him.

Even that did not stop Bangfei. He was too dedicated, too devoted to his dream of a world with no civilization, to let himself be stopped by a table crashing down on top of him.

That's probably why General Iroh kicked him in the head until he lost consciousness.

* * *

Iroh simply sat atop the knocked-out would-be kidnapper until Zuko and Mai arrived, followed by their own personal contingent of Royal Fire Guards. "Ah, that didn't take long."

Mai didn't say anything. She immediately rushed over to grab the baby out of Iroh's good arm and wrapped her up in a tight hug. Zuko was left to voice the inevitable, "Someone saw the guards outside getting attacked and went for help. What happened?"

Iroh shrugged with his good arm, and shifted atop his human seat. "I held a tea ceremony for my grand-niece, and we had an uninvited guest appear. I think I taught him proper protocol." He let the guards ease him into a standing position, and watched contentedly as his kidnapper was clapped in chains and hauled away.

Mai finally let out a heavy sigh. "The baby's okay. She's not hurt." She looked over at Iroh, and he was struck by how unusually soft her eyes appeared. "What about you? You look like you went a few rounds as Ty Lee's punching bag."

Iroh tried moving his numb arm, and while it responded this time, it was lethargic, and felt quite stiff. "I have been through worse, at least. I think the only thing I need is a little time, rest, and of course a good cup of hot tea."

"Tea!"

Everyone looked over at the baby in Mai's arms, who was in turn locking her gaze on Iroh and smiling wide. "Tea," his grand-niece squealed happily. "Teateateateateateateateateateateatea..."

Mai's lips twisted into a smile as the baby kept babbling. "A new word. Lovely. She's going to be repeating that all night. Well, I suppose it's better than if we let _my_ Uncle babysit. Then she'd be repeating 'shank,' and we'd have more of a mess to take care of with the crazy kidnapper."

Iroh smiled back. "This uncle, at least, will always balance reliable protection with proper refinement when guarding this lovely little baby. Well, at least I can try. Zuko needed quite a few years of lessons before he got it..."

The day ended in laughter.

**END**


End file.
